Not Gonna Lie
So this past weekend, we traveled to Illinois to participate in the juried 19th Annual St. Charles Fine Arts Show. After months of preparation and quite an investment in a professional setup, which I detailed in my last post, I felt fully prepared and full of optimism for a fabulous event.
I'm not gonna lie. I am disappointed and a bit disheartened.
I know there are those that will tell me I should focus on the positives. So I will certainly acknowledge them.
- I met some wonderful people. Like Bala. The most amazing supportive person whom I now call friend. I got one of her mandalas and it's now a permanent reminder of what a beautiful person she is.
- I gained many new subscribers to my newsletter (Yay for them! Special things come their way!)
- I got to pet and love up some super wonderful Great Danes, Greyhounds, Newfies and Labbies. Helped me not miss my beautiful fur babies as much.
- I got to see some AMAZING art by some AMAZING artists.
- Some patrons purchased notecards and/or prints of my art.
Nevertheless, here's my disappointment.. and actually, if I'm being totally real, it's heartbreak.
I didn't get that moment where someone walked into my beautiful display and said...
"I HAVE TO HAVE THAT".
That moment. The one that fulfills me as an artist. The moment that makes or breaks you. Because for me, it's not about money and sales (although I certainly won't turn that down). For me it's about THAT MOMENT. When someone loves your work as much as you do. When someone connects one of my pieces with their soul like I do when I create it.
Just one moment.
Trying to get passed missing my moment, I people watched. And as I did, I counted my blessings for my good health and general good fortune. I have a good life. Many have things to worry about and deal with other than my little pity party. I thought about all of those who are truly suffering this Memorial Day weekend. I am blessed in so many ways and I have never felt their debilitating sorrow.
I will walk away sad, but I will not walk away from this show empty. I will have knowledge and insight into the kinds of shows I put my all into. I will have inspiration. I will have new friends. I will have confidence that my art is amazing, gorgeous, beautiful as so many commented and repeated.
I will not have my moment. Not this time. Is this a little on the downside? You bet it is.
I may be the Human Unicorn, but I am still human.
I feel the sorrows as much as I feel the joys. I can't make up stories to make it feel better.
This was a bust and I'm just calling it out. So, I'm gonna cry in my beer a little right now. And enjoy my alliums and my puppies.
After all, tomorrow is another day...